Then in 1991 there was strife within our family, and my dad stopped going to church. I followed his example and stayed home to watch news coverage of the Gulf War. I was a freshman in high school. Ironically, during football camp that summer, I connected with our team chaplain and found Philippians 4:13 very helpful. This verse states, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Despite that, I still turned away from church and Scripture at a time when I needed it most. 

After I stopped attending church, I became more irritable, which deepened my depression. Our family went through many trials and although I remained active in football, that activity did not quell my growing anger. In May 1994, I graduated high school and felt more lost than ever before. I neither possessed the academic work ethic nor the financial means to attend college straight out of high school, so I entered the workforce. I still lived with my parents. When I became unemployed (by my own listlessness), it was a very difficult existence because I didn’t add anything toward the household other than another mouth to feed.

My sister gave birth to a baby boy, Ryan, in November of that year. Since he was the first grandson in the family, my parents were happy. For a short time, it seemed as though our family was getting along. But it only took a week after my nephew was born for the family to be at odds with one another again. Tragically, just three short weeks after being born, Ryan passed away due to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Our family was collectively heartbroken and understandably devastated. When Ryan died, the family put its differences aside, and we rallied together to support my sister and her husband during their grief. I was an 18year-old kid who’d previously thought himself invincible suddenly seeing death in a new light. Sure, I’d had a couple of friends who passed away in their teens, but that was due to a house fire  and car accidents; both very explainable as things that could happen to anyone. My naivety kept me blinded to the fact that anyone at any age could die and there may not be rhyme or reason to it. Ryan’s death showed me that even an innocent child who had not even lived a month could die and that tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. 

During the next few days, I did a lot of praying and soul searching. On December 16, 1994, we had Ryan’s funeral. When we arrived at the cemetery, his plot was only halfway dug, so my dad and a few other guys took on the task of completing the grave. While the grave was being finished, I went to the car of my great uncle Jim, who was a retired pastor. I told him that I was ready to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and asked if he could tell me how to accept eternal salvation. Over the next 30 minutes, Uncle Jim took me through Scripture and told me what it meant to be saved and how to be saved. Although we were together to mourn a loss, I was reborn in that cemetery as they laid my nephew to rest. I firmly believe Ryan was sent to us from God for the purpose of bringing our family closer together and for me to be saved.

It would be a storybook ending to say, “And I’ve lived for Christ ever since.” However, that is not the truth. In fact, I struggled over the next 24 years, sometimes doing what was right and many times not doing what was right. Finally, in 2018, I rededicated my life to serve my Savior Jesus Christ. I was ashamed that my wife and I had not brought our daughters up in church or made God our priority. In 2018 while stationed in Hawai’i, we began taking our daughters to church. My wife and I had been saved for years, but were just learning what it meant to be Christians. We were both baptized by our pastor as our public profession that we serve Christ. Now God is our main priority, and we see it in how our daughters think through problems and in the way they relate problems to biblical stories they know.

You see, making the decision to be saved and follow Jesus Christ does not only affect you, but it also affects your family (even if you’re single now) and future generations. If God is a priority in your life now, He will be a priority in your family’s lives many generations down the line all because you made the decision to follow Jesus Christ.

Although I was ashamed of squandering over two decades of my life after becoming saved, I’m proud that my wife and I have been steadfast in raising our children in church and properly prioritizing God in our family. Without Him, nothing is possible. With each day that I am blessed with life, I think of Psalms 118:24, “This is the day the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” 

Wander and worry no more. Make the decision today to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. It is a decision that will serve you well for eternity, set your family on the correct path, and  allow you to share the good news of everlasting life with Jesus Christ in His Kingdom!